Saturday, August 30, 2008

just another gastric bypass story

Five years ago I had GB surgery. I was approaching 300 lbs. I ended up losing a little over 100 and I have gained back 30. I have no regrets about having this surgery done. It did change my life. I can't eat as much as I used to and exercise is now a very real part of my life.



For me there are some dangers that remain and one that has been created. What has been created is that while I cannot eat a lot at one sitting...an hour or two later I am ready to go again. I can eat and eat every couple hours. This, in the end, can turn into over eating. The other danger that remains is that I never really did conquer my overeating/addictive food habits.When I had the surgery. They "screened" me. Which is kind of a joke. I'm not blaming anyone. They certainly were caring people but come on. I'm 300 lbs. ... I will answer any question the way you want me to in order to get that surgery. That and not gaining weight from original weigh in were my only requirements. Of course I had to pass all the other physical tests. I wasn't a smoker and turns out everything else was ok and I was eligible.



I'm sad to have gained back some of the weight. I long to be a size 10 again but I sit at 14. I have a horrible body image again. I can't bear to look at myself or have my picture taken. I feel huge, a awful yucky feeling.I don't know were all my GB friends went. We had a internet group and I even attended a gathering out of town. Slowly one by one they have all disappeared. I often wonder how they are all doing. Were they able to keep it off? The ones that weren't..how are they dealing with this.



Now for the week...not a great one but I knew it wouldn't be. There's just something about going back to work after having the summer off. I never handle it well. I'm going to visit another Y in my neighborhood and get their schedule and then hopefully get a workout schedule/rountine set up for myself.



I'm going to consider running again. Someone here posted this kind of neat program for people who want to begin running. I forget what it's is called...it's something about going from a couch potatoe to running. I'll hunt it down and find it again. I'm going to go out and buy some running shoes and give it a try again. ugh!!

3 comments:

SuperDave said...

Coach To 5K!! Great running program.
BTW congrats on the weight loss. I must admit that I considered GB it myself, but I ended up losing it the through lifestyle / exercise.
Since when is a 14 big??
These blogs are a great support system, welcome to the weird world. :)

Diana said...

Here is the page for the schedule (http://www.jlweb.org/content/hr/Couch_to_5K_Training.pdf)

But, here is the official pages (Couch to 5k: http://www.c25k.com/ AND a support site: http://www.coolrunning.com).

I haven't started myself yet (this week tomorrow is my first day :), but I know a lot of bloggers that got to running this way!

That's the thing...you need to take care of the emotional reasons behind it too! I know I'm a psychology PhD student, so I don't have the bad feelings about therapists other do, but please consider it. It can be a help. If not, then there are plenty of self help books out there. I have compulsive eating, which has gotten better by doing books.

Yes, and finally, congrats on the loss! I hope you find encouragement in how far you've come too!

working at it said...

diana..thanks for that. As soon as I get shoes I will start. I want to get shoes that I can use for both walking and running since I'm already walking. If I don't make it with running, I don't want to be stuck with shoes I can't use. Thanks!!1