I sometimes feel like my body is getting away from me. I don't like how I feel in my body and for weeks I have been in this deep, downward spiral. I could write about all the excuses but even I am so sick and tired of hearing myself say them again and again. I feel that slowly, slowly it is becoming too late. My lover will soon not want me for this body. Am I forever going to be fighting myself out of this? I hate it here.

So

far the week has been ok. I made banana bread over the weekend so that was tempting. Today I took it to work and gave it to the skinny people. Other than that it's been ok. I haven't gotten to the gym yet because it's been another stressful busy week but I did walk to school yesterday and today which is something. Last night I messed around with my weights at home for twenty minutes. Is it Friday yet?

New Beginnings...Again

Dieters love beginnings. You know the statement...well I won't start to day...I'll wait until.....blah blah blah. So I was noticing that today is Monday!! A definite diet start day. And...today is the first day of Fall. WOW...2 really good starting points. This could be the starting point for gearing up for the holidays or weddings or whatever. Just noticed and wanted to point this out. Somehow starting at a beginning point makes sense but sometimes it gives us a reason to procrastinate. Anyway...for me..glad it's today, Monday, the First day of Autumn.

been away too long

ok..I actually forgot about this blog for a little bit. Sept is just always the worst month for me. Getting back to work. My whole workout routine has to change. My gym is also doing some new classes which is kind of cool but I have to learn new schedules.

I have a wedding on Oct 4th and I'd like to spend the next twelve days really eating clean. So I'm calling it the twelve days of wedding receptions. Everyday I'm going to do my best to eat clean. No snacking at night and good healthy meals with protein. Lots of water and some form of exercise EVERY SINGLE day. I want to feel good for the wedding. I'll be seeing lots of old friends and I want to feel and look hot.

So I'm going to work at logging in my foods (boring but I will) and my exercise. Wish me luck.

I need to do better about showing up here because writing about this issu really does help me. This start of the new school year has been really rough on me this year. I have many, many challenges. Last week was a horrible week so Friday we ended up at happy hour which meant beer and very unhealthy appetizers....but it was fun! I try not to let something like that throw everything else to the wind. I just get up the next day and try hard again.

what a difference a day makes

Maybe I should go for an Emmy or Oscar. Tonight I got to the gym and had a great workout. It's a new class called the Mixx. It was step aerobics mixed with some weight and ab work. Had a great sweat. Was so glad I went. TGIF

save me from the prison that is my body _____________i can't bear to look________ it doesn't feel good to move in this skin_________i don't like what the mirror portrays______everything moves and i hate it________i feel a little out of control this week_______like nothing matters what i do___________i can't find the energy to even do____________i hope this doesn't last too long